第四期：好的句子II

　　3.简洁

　　句中不应有任何不必要的词。只要意思充分地表达了，用的词越少越好。用词过多只会使意思模糊，而不是更清晰。所以最好在写完一篇文章后，仔细检查一两遍，删去一些不必要的词。试比较：

　　Wordy: It was blue in color.

　　It was small in size.

　　Mary is a quiet and careful woman.

　　He returned in the early part of the month of August.

　　Concise: It was blue.

　　It was small.

　　Mary is quiet and careful.

　　He returned in the early August.

　　重复有时可加重语气，但不必要的重复，不管是重复相同的词或是重复相同意思的不同的词都应该避免。

　　Wordy: He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.

　　Concise: He gave many reasons for the failure, but none of them were convincing.

　　有时为了简洁起见，需要改变句子结构：

　　Wordy: There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain. It towered over the trees around it.

　　Concise: The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees around it.

　　The giant pine tree on the top of the mountain towered over the trees around it.

　　以上例子证明有时从句可以压缩为短语，短语可以压缩为单词而不改变原来的意思。也证明两个句子有时可以合并，把表达次要意思的句子改为分词短语、定语从句或别的形式。

　　这期的作业：(请大家认真完成，切勿灌水哦！回帖请隐藏答案。)

　　1.Wordy: In my opinion, I think your plan is feasible. (请删去重复词语)

　　2.Wordy: Mr. Smith usually likes to drink all kinds of wines that are produced in France.(请改变句子结构)

　　3.以上两句各有两种修改方法，请大家开动脑筋想一想哦！

　　Today’s recommend: (请大家欣赏！)

　　He crouched a little, spreading his hands under the water and moving them round, trying to feel for her. The dead cold pond swayed upon his chest. He moved again, a little, and again, with his hands underneath, he felt all around under the water. And he touched her clothing. But it evaded his fingers. He made a desperate effort to grasp it…

　　He laid her down on the bank. She was quite unconscious and running with water. He made the water come from her mouth, he worked to restore her. He did not have to work very long before he could feel the breathing begin again in her; she was breathing naturally. He worked a little longer. He could feel her live beneath his hands; she was coming back. He wiped her face, wrapped her in his overcoat, looked round into the dim, dark gray world, then lifted her and staggered down the bank and across the fields.

　　——D.H.Lawrence

　　文中的许多短句生动地描写了那个男人的快速动作，从而使读者感受到他那时的紧张心情。

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　　1.Concise: In my opinion, your plan is feasible./I think your plan is feasible.

　　2.Concise: Mr. Smith prefers wines produced in France./ Mr. Smith prefers French wines.